I made it!

     Well, I seem to have weathered the storm as "they" (who are they anyway?) say.  My mother used to say "they" are all wearing that, when I would ask how something looked on my chubby little body.  I never knew who "they" were but I hated them..anyway, I digress.  It seems my low mood was due to my coming to a grown up age, something I absolutely didn't want to do apparently but I made it thru Thursday then Friday and felt no more mature then I felt on Wednesday or last week..actually since I developed a pimple on my nose I felt a bit younger! The more I think about myself getting older, the more I can see how much the same I have always been.  I am pretty much the same person I was at age 5 or 6.  Nine trillion years of therapy, meditating, doing therapy, studying Buddhism, living life; I would still same I am a kind, sweet, good hearted person who is sometimes a real annoying pain in the ass!  I welcome comments of agreement or disagreement or anything you wish to say on the subject is fine.  My party was a success?  I don't know.  I tried to do it the absolute Sri Lankan way, almost.  I was told I had to have bananas rather then any other fruit, no tea could be served, no water was necessary and I should have lunch packets if it was at 12 noon.  My only deviation from this was to bring bottles of water and most people did not drink it. The things wrapped in newspaper are rice and curry.  Yes newspaper is used for wrapping lunch, wiping your a-s, wiping your hands etc. This is a developing country.  They cannot afford the paper products we so easily use and discard. Yes there I go, I was just on my soap box as a friend likes to tell me, part of being a pain in the butt, very annoying.  Anyway,  I totally screwed up by not individually going to each staff member and inviting them so two of the nurses did not come.  This was not good but hopefully now fixed.  The cultural and language differences sometimes feel like they are getting foggier rather then clearer.  No one said very much at the party.  I was instructed as to how to conduct it.  I encouraged people to take lunch and no one moved then the Consultant Psychiatrist said why didn't I cut the cake.  I said have dessert before lunch????  He said on special occasions, this is what they do so I cut the cake and gave it out with a banana to each person and that was good!  I brought music but no one responded.  After sitting around for a while it was whispered in my ear that the Minor (aide) staff would rather eat their lunch separately.  The nurses ended up doing the same. The comfort level is not there I think for the different catagories of staff to eat together.  However even though I said people should go and do as they wished, no one moved.  Then I was told there was a song at which point the staff sang a very beautiful song about Sri Lanka.  After that I gave a little speech since I couldn't think of a song to sing in that moment.  Then Dr. P. gave a speech about me then big, big surprise i was presented with a lovely picture by all the staff and a beautiful top from the nurses and Laxmi gave me a bracelet but it was in secret and I can't tell the others!  I was very touched but felt bad because they have so little and don't really celebrate their own birthdays, but you know, I'm 65 so fuck it, it's OK.